10/14/20

a planet out of whack

i dream about
wearing my father's face
while i watch
and wish
the mother's mother
a fond farewell.

her tired breath brings things
i'd never thought possible
for possible thought,
terrible words to
wreck and wound.

awake now,
and there are
thirty minus nine
left to go.

4/24/19


god damn it
the heart is not
enough and

i’ve never been
mine,
not even in sleep

ten and two or three
and i hate that i don’t
hate you

the heart is not
enough and
now you have him

i have unsettled skin
stalling the dreams
that are always about you

i’ll never not
wade in our weight
we were all i ever wanted

all of me will
always be yours
even if you don’t try anymore

2/7/19

Forever


i am full
and bloated
heavy with
what i watch
what i want

a sweaty web
dark and drooping
hung and stuffed
with all the sad shit
wet and unforgettable

i am higher than my dosage
yet lower than then
walking toward the heap
dug up there
detached and deep

still slouched and slow
stopped and seated,
my fingertips drawing hearts
on the backs of my hands
one again, one and open

9/1/17

the happysad

i'll go to a beach
with wet sand
white and grey

the sea will be cold
and the sky will be dark
it's warm here

with cold winds
i'll dress for summer
and stand in the water

i am at the happysad
on the ridge just beyond
and just before.

3/27/17

little film
lay grey
on already grey things
catching sighs,
gone listless

from a breath
gone float to
tumble,
got a tear or a fold

maybe kept still
on some piece,
or corner

then gone up again
for another while

11/4/16

Until The Man Went Quiet

The man’s throat was sore, aching from the pull of sobs which threatened to take over at any moment.

Renegade tears ran down his cheeks, slicing into the nets of the sea-kissed moisture dotting his flesh. His vision was blurred, though it was already difficult enough to peer through the evening’s autumnal gloom.

Cold, gray waves carefully broke around and against him, the sea and sand sucked him deeper into the shore.  Soft surfs continued to caress the man’s chest, his arms, sometimes catching the back of his neck with its foamy crash.  Such compassion gave fuel to the man’s grief, his body shook with cries.

Somewhere, far and deep, a pull and push eddied.  A sigh spilled, a heart broke.  A monster moaned, unable to comfort her lover any longer.  She’d loved him from the first moment he’d waded into her swell, all those years ago.

He loved her too.

He’d swim and sink his toes into her soft sands, she was warm and he was safe.  The days when the man and the sea were separate were very few and far between.  Even when the days began to darken earlier, and the ground and grasses froze, the man would search the coast for a ripple to visit, to remember.

The waves she sent from her immeasurable depths were veined and heavy with longing and sorrow, but she knew.  And he knew.

And his village knew.

The sea gushed and grasped the man against her bank.  From her core emanated a vibration, a howl.  The man and the sea wept and wept until the man went under.  Until the man went quiet.