i am full
and bloated
heavy with
what i watch
what i want
a sweaty web
dark and drooping
hung and stuffed
with all the sad shit
wet and unforgettable
i am higher than my dosage
yet lower than then
walking toward the heap
dug up there
detached and deep
still slouched and slow
stopped and seated,
my fingertips drawing hearts
on the backs of my hands
one again, one and open